A Dogmatic Approach

Review of Icky Thump by the White Stripes / Ryan Smith

Let the record state that I understand why the collective body of alternative rock fans like the White Stripes. They write simple, catchy songs that do not require a great deal of concentration to enjoy. From their first hit (‘Fell in Love With a Girl’) to the more recent hi-fi experimentation, the Stripes have been a radio staple for the last half decade. This band is one of the most apparent points of departure for myself and most fans of modern rock music.

The White Stripes will release their sixth studio album, Icky Thump, this summer to overwhelming radio support and rave reviews no matter what it sounds like. It is still a fascinating occurrence that this band has maintained a steady level of popularity since their former “saviors of rock” status. Therefore, it seems that they deserve a meticulous treatment for a review of their new material. So here it is, my track-by-track review of Icky Thump, for better of worse, which is most certainly their best record despite the fact that it is really not all that great:

ONE – “Icky Thump” – Initially, the title track sounds like pure rock power. A mid-tempo palm muted guitar riff drives over a heavy, steady kick drum accented by splashing cymbals. However, as the song develops, one sees that it employs the worst aspects of Black Sabbath and the Doors for its entirety: it is limited to two distorted chords and is plagued by minutes of grating synth noodling for about half the song. Catchy? Yes. Memorable? No.

TWO – “You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You’re Told)” – Sounding a bit like a George Thorogood and the Destroyers B-side, this song is characterized by another towering rock riff over some pretty uninteresting rhythmic work. Despite its 5-minute running time, all of the ideas are developed by about 2:15, which is about the running time of an older Stripes song.

THREE – “300 MPH Torrential Outpour Blues” – The boredom is beginning to set in with this song. At this point in the record (about 14 minutes), we have been treated to about 4 minutes of ridiculous guitar noise and 14 minutes of nonsensical lyrics with vague political overtones.

FOUR – “Conquest” – An interesting combination of the musical scores from The Three Amigos and The Lion King, this two chord chunker bridges the gap between popular rock music and Mel Gibson’s Apolcalypto, for which I believe it was the musical theme. And it has horns!

FIVE – “Bone Broke” – There is nothing really different about this cut. It is a standard, garden variety White Stripes song. What sets it apart is how truly awful the drummer actually is. It has so many mistakes that it seems a few of them could have been ironed out in post-production. If they can afford horns, perhaps a session drummer?

SIX – “Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn” – Mandolins, bagpipes (or an accordion) and tambourines do make for a nice change, but Jack White’s warble cuts to the core of this campy, traditional-sounding song. For about a third, White’s voice is layered a number of times to highlight the “LI-DEE LI-DEE LI-YO YO,” which is just as annoying as it sounds.

SEVEN – “St. Andrew (The Battle is in the Air)” – The instrumentation from the last track carries over into a Shrek-like romp through the Scottish countryside plagued by Meg White’s ghoulish head following close behind, muttering barely intelligible phrases about angels and her own capacity for fidelity.

EIGHT – “Little Cream Soda” – This song is track four without the horns. It’s a bit of an updated take on the James Bond theme song with lyrics that sounds a bit like a page out of the Lord of the Rings laced with references to ice cream. It’s all spoken word, which is a nice break from his singing voice.

NINE – “Rag and Bone” – In this song, Jack and Meg are once again doing what they do best, which is also what they’ve always done on their records. The track littered with conversational pieces that seem to be reproduced from a recent yard sale. The couple wanders around a mansion and the host gives them things that they wish to sell on Ebay. This is, of course, never explained and makes very little sense.

TEN – “I’m Slowly Turning Into You” – This is a lot like track one (and five, incidentally) with organ. Honestly though, the organ fills this one out. Its stop-and-go progression, while formulaic, most certainly rocks. Between tracks nine and ten, Icky Thump gets a lot better.

ELEVEN – “A Martyr For My Love For You” – Alarmingly enough, this song sounds a lot like ‘What It’s Like’ by Everlast. The hook is still pretty great and is followed by the record’s best guitar solo. Here is what I have learned by this point in the album: the White Stripes hit their rock stride with an organ filling out their bass notes. It also helps when White sings within his range, which he does well in this song.

TWELVE – “Catch Hell Blues” – A deep, bluesy, slide guitar riff starts this one out and soon (and unexpectedly) turns this track into the album’s best song. Very rootsy, this track is the only White Stripes song that is forever indebted to its lack of bass guitar support. Low on vocals, high on rock. It won’t rocket to the top of the charts, but it is a great song.

THIRTEEN – “Effect and Cause” – Another garden variety cut to finish it off. Standard fare, not too bad, not all that good.

Talk amongst yourselves. Am I wrong?